Family is traditionally defined as a group of people closely related to one another either by adoption, blood or marriage. Family can also be your extended family. Traditionally, family is your parents and your siblings, however, and most people will also have some extended family members. This means your grandparents, aunts, uncles, nieces/nephews, and cousins. 

Family, however, is not limited to people you’re related to by blood. Family can also be people you feel are kindred spirits and a close-knit group of people bound by love and friendship. Family is always who you love, not who you’re related to.

The idea of family being who you’re related to has caused many people harm because not all families are good families. Some families are abusive, manipulative, and dysfunctional. Such a family can make one feel lonely and deserted, especially since we live in a society full of mostly nuclear families. This makes people think that once their nuclear family isn’t loving, they have no family. This is not true. Family is much more than blood, and you can make your family. You can create your own family with people and friends you love. To create a good, happy and healthy family, you’ll need these qualities.

Qualities of a Happy and Healthy Family

  1. Patience – Patience is necessary for a good family. Members of the family should be patient with each other. Patience is a way to show love. Even when they’re being annoying be patient and wait it out. Patience is the best way to show love.
  1. Kindness – Being kind doesn’t equal being nice all the time or saying yes to all demands. Being kind means being considerate, friendly and generous towards members of your family.
  1. Peace – Peace is necessary for a healthy family. Arguments, noise and rage are things that we do not find enjoyable. Of course there’ll be arguments, but members of a family should never feel unloved or despised after a fight. Even when you argue you should still know that you are loved.
  1. Joy – Choosing joy in all situations. Tough times don’t last, but tough people do.
  1. Love – Show love through devotion, kindness, patience and sacrifice. Love must be shown through action. It’s not enough to say you love someone you have to show you love someone. Love is not disrespectful, and love doesn’t disregard your boundaries. Love doesn’t give an ultimatum, and love does not hurt.

Other qualities include being gentle and having self-control. If you’re in a traditional family where you’re being abused, belittled, manipulated or disregarded, then that is not your family. Those are simply people you are related to by blood. Family must have these qualities. A healthy family should be a safe space from all the trials in the world. If your family produces all your trials, then they are not the best family for you.

Of course, it’s difficult to cut off from your traditional family, and it may hurt, but you must do what it is best for you. Family isn’t always blood. It’s the people in your life who show you love, who show that they want you in their life. People who respect you and love you.